Dad... is that really you?

I dreamt of you today Daddy. I dreamed that I called the house and you answered in your sarcastic tone as you did for many years (scaring off my guy friends, lol). I was surprised to hear your voice but so overwhelmed with joy wanting to fill you in on all that life's handed me recently.

Jose and I are expecting a new addition to the family. Mom jokes and thinks you somehow played a role in the blessing. Someone must've thought it would be funny to subscribe me to pregnancy magazines months before I even found out. As if you were sending us a sign, lol. Crazy I know... but you know mom :-P

Daddy, I miss you so much and being an pregnant emotional wreck sure isn't helping me fight back the tears. Id give anything to reverse the clock and see you again.

Gonna Make a change

Gosh, WTH was I thinking when I decided to give lasix a try again? Sure it did its job and made me pee a whole lot, but while it didn't reduce the swelling, it did make me hit the ground. I had another syncope episode.
I took the lasix just before going to bed, knowing it would make me wake every 15 minutes to pee. When I woke up though, I was quite disappointed to see that the edema was still pretty bad. Nonetheless I got my ass up and into the shower when suddenly I began to feel my heart race and my pressure drop. Seconds later I woke to find myself wet, laying in bed. Apparently I passed out and Jose carried me to bed...again.
OK, time take this shit more serious. I'm cutting back on my hours at work, increasing the amount of sleep I get and were joining the gym this week. If I'm gonna stick around long enough to see my girls become beautiful moms themselves, Ive gotta take my health more serious.

Happy Birthday Daddy

I thought of you today, but thats nothing new. Nearly two years have passed and the pains still as fresh as that fateful morning mom called with the news. I love you daddy and miss you more and more as the days pass. I know you wouldve wanted me to stay the strong girl you raised me to be, but its just not easy without you near.

Happy Birthday in heaven Daddy. XOXOXO

Im leaving...

...on the midnight train to Georgia.

Well not exactly at midnight nor am I taking the train. I am however making plans to leave for GA very soon. The interview letter in todays mail brings our dream that much closer to becoming a reality.

Gossip Girls

In my experiences at work, I've heard way more than I care to learn about the personal lives of some of my co-workers. Being stuck together for 12+ hours, you sorta come to expect it. I have one co-worker in particular that I share just about everything with whom I feel I can trust.

She's joked with me many times and said that she thinks I've really found a keeper this time, but when he showed up tonight at midnight to satisfy my craving after driving from working a 12 hour shift himself (oh... and over an hour away), she declared: "Lisa you'd better marry that man!"

He makes me feel all warm and toasty inside. Thanks for the toasted almonds baby! XOXOXO

???

Moments like tonight make me question myself, my thoughts, my actions... my everything. Am I making a huge fool of myself by reaching for the stars?

Technology Rocks

I got the new Motorolla Droid about a week ago. This thing totally rocks! Every day I find a new and exciting application that renews my joy, like christmas everyday.

And now I discovered a blogger application?! Feliz Navidad!!!