Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dad... is that really you?

I dreamt of you today Daddy. I dreamed that I called the house and you answered in your sarcastic tone as you did for many years (scaring off my guy friends, lol). I was surprised to hear your voice but so overwhelmed with joy wanting to fill you in on all that life's handed me recently.

Jose and I are expecting a new addition to the family. Mom jokes and thinks you somehow played a role in the blessing. Someone must've thought it would be funny to subscribe me to pregnancy magazines months before I even found out. As if you were sending us a sign, lol. Crazy I know... but you know mom :-P

Daddy, I miss you so much and being an pregnant emotional wreck sure isn't helping me fight back the tears. Id give anything to reverse the clock and see you again.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Gonna Make a change

Gosh, WTH was I thinking when I decided to give lasix a try again? Sure it did its job and made me pee a whole lot, but while it didn't reduce the swelling, it did make me hit the ground. I had another syncope episode.
I took the lasix just before going to bed, knowing it would make me wake every 15 minutes to pee. When I woke up though, I was quite disappointed to see that the edema was still pretty bad. Nonetheless I got my ass up and into the shower when suddenly I began to feel my heart race and my pressure drop. Seconds later I woke to find myself wet, laying in bed. Apparently I passed out and Jose carried me to bed...again.
OK, time take this shit more serious. I'm cutting back on my hours at work, increasing the amount of sleep I get and were joining the gym this week. If I'm gonna stick around long enough to see my girls become beautiful moms themselves, Ive gotta take my health more serious.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Happy Birthday Daddy

I thought of you today, but thats nothing new. Nearly two years have passed and the pains still as fresh as that fateful morning mom called with the news. I love you daddy and miss you more and more as the days pass. I know you wouldve wanted me to stay the strong girl you raised me to be, but its just not easy without you near.

Happy Birthday in heaven Daddy. XOXOXO

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Im leaving...

...on the midnight train to Georgia.

Well not exactly at midnight nor am I taking the train. I am however making plans to leave for GA very soon. The interview letter in todays mail brings our dream that much closer to becoming a reality.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Gossip Girls

In my experiences at work, I've heard way more than I care to learn about the personal lives of some of my co-workers. Being stuck together for 12+ hours, you sorta come to expect it. I have one co-worker in particular that I share just about everything with whom I feel I can trust.

She's joked with me many times and said that she thinks I've really found a keeper this time, but when he showed up tonight at midnight to satisfy my craving after driving from working a 12 hour shift himself (oh... and over an hour away), she declared: "Lisa you'd better marry that man!"

He makes me feel all warm and toasty inside. Thanks for the toasted almonds baby! XOXOXO

Sunday, March 07, 2010


Moments like tonight make me question myself, my thoughts, my actions... my everything. Am I making a huge fool of myself by reaching for the stars?

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Technology Rocks

I got the new Motorolla Droid about a week ago. This thing totally rocks! Every day I find a new and exciting application that renews my joy, like christmas everyday.

And now I discovered a blogger application?! Feliz Navidad!!!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Curry flavored FOAD

Nothing irritates me more than unknown callers calling my cell phone. Even worse, when they leave a message and I have to pause for 2 minutes to listen to their damn sales pitch. I just don't have time for bullshit in my life anymore.

So... I get not 1, not 2, but 3 calls from an unknown number tracing back to CA. The gentleman with an overpowering Indian accent calls himself Tony Clark and that I must call him back on the 'hotline' or else. WTF?!

So I immediately return his call and he answers claiming to work for an attorney and that if I don't pay him for an outstanding pay day loan immediately, that their going to federal court on Friday to prosecute.

Dude... you fucked with the wrong chick today!

1st of all I've never taken out a pay day loan, because (my friend) their illegal in NY state. Our governor protects us from crooks like you. Secondly, pay day loans are not enforceable in courts... I know because I fucking worked for them too. And thirdly I wish you'd remove my telephone number from your list of people to steal from and fuck off!

Am I sounding a little upset? Good, glad you feel my anger! Whats with all these damn international scams lately? Last week I had someone from Nigeria purchase an item from me on ebay and send fictitious emails claiming to be from paypal.

Funny how the very same countries we helped through major disasters and such return the favor by trying to rip us off. FOAD!!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Makes me wanna Dance

I just wanna offer thanks to my awesome God for blessing me with a beautiful family. Not a day goes by that I don't praise you and thank you for all you've done for me. My Mom's finally become self sufficient and working again, my daughters are happy and healthy and I'm in love with an awesome guy that's loves us despite our silly ways. In fact, he even likes my music :-P

Friday, February 19, 2010

OMG wheres the aleeve? My back is killing me. But it was soooo damn awesome! Id better stop smiling and get ready for another dinner with the in-laws, lol.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

We be Rollin'

So here I am waiting for him to exit the office... waiting and smiling because as a team, were unstoppable. Dreamers compliment each other, always dreaming and aspiring to do better. So here we are making our move to the south a reality.
Like a steam roller, were smoothing out the bumps in the road....

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Here i sit in an empty house, not even my house. I left my empty house to come to moms because with Hubby away till saturday, my place was just too lonely. Where's mom? Oh yeah she's working now. Mark? So is he. Joey and Ann? yep their gone too.

So... what do I do without the people I surround with my love all day? I was their dirty underwear! LOL

Have a good day ya'll!!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

I'm So Vexed

So just the other day I get an email from my ex husband trying to pin his personal and financial problems on me. Trying to intimidate me, he offers to make amends by my allowing him to claim the girls on his taxes this year.


Dude, your problems are all self inflicted! You wrote those bad checks, you refused to go to court, your the one who refuses to get a job and pay child support! Don't look to me for help while you turned your back on me and the kids and DON'T expect me to allow you to take more money from us!

That was the end of the conversation... so I thought. I decided to hurry and file my returns just in case he tried anyway. I filed my returns with the IRS on the very first day they allowed you to do so, only to discover he beat me to it. Dude actually had the nerve to file their social security numbers despite my refusing to allow him.

So... the money I expected to fund our vacation will instead be tied up and we can both look forward to audits now. Thanks alot Asshat!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Too Blessed to be Stressed

As the days pass, I become more and more pleased with the decisions I've made in life. I've learned not to dwell on things in the past and to instead appreciate things in my possession today. I wake up every morning beside a man I love more than I ever imagined possible, that loves my children and family as if they were his own. I end each day praying for another tomorrow.

Words can never express just how much he means to me, so I don't expect anyone else to understand the words that I write. Its for me, as is he.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Flying off into the sunset

Most goodbye's are merely farewell for now's, some however really are goodbye forever's. We've known this day would come for quite sometime now, but saying goodbye to someone who's meant so much to me just... just doesn't sit well.
What was he? A friend? A lover? While neither seems to fit appropriately, one things for sure. We shall be no more. We shared many personal common goals and allowed each other to be completely honest, sharing our deepest thoughts without fear or prejudice. We both know how hard its been being away from his kids for three years, and sometimes were willing to do things that might compromise our own happiness for the sake of them.
While we may not be certain of what the future brings, I realize that this is something we both need to do. Farewell my dear friend.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I'm trying to be strong Dad, I really am. But just like everything else... you taught me to hide my pain. I shouldve been there, I'm sorry. I miss you more than anything else in the world and nothing will ever take this pain away.
I'm trying my best to take care of Mom for you daddy, she missed you too. Its hard to believe we survived another holiday season without you.