Friday, June 30, 2006

Look Ma' the Sky is Falling

Yesterday I decided to go lay out in the sun while the kids swam in the pool. Hoping to get some color on my cheeks. Just as I finally get comfortable, what happens? The sky starts to f*cking fall. The rain began and the thunderstorm soon followed. Oh well...
I also wanna briefly mention that I think I over-reacted the other night when mentioning my new love interest. See it seems he too has a life and since we both work different hours for the most part, we were both worried about calling while the other was asleep. Well I guess with time, we'll see where this one goes. Maybe what I should do is stay away from myspace. I know that I personally have a few friends on myspace that I send innocent flirts to. But I suppose for the overly jealous type like myself, we tend to take them to the extreme.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

FOAD o->

I waited patiently all night to write this one. In honor of FOAD Thursday I wanna send a special salute to all the men in my life. If your a good guy and reading this, then damn it... call me and we could very easily set this straight. But for all of those other fellows that wanna mess with this chick...
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You can FOAD! Enough Said!

Have a good day... Im off to bed!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Mood swings, Damn U Men!

I'm sitting here feeling pretty crappy, maybe I'm bipolar or something but I'm thinking back to my feelings earlier this week and how I was hooked on this guy from work, now I wanna send him to f*cking Guam! I 've taught myself through experience never to fall quickly. I may write about it here in my blog, but probably wouldn't tell you.
Now I cant help but feel like a victim of some joke at my expense. I'm starting to see a pattern in his wanting to call me. I haven't heard from him since Sunday night when we had our erotic phone conversation. I'm so glad I didn't give in and allow him to come over here for the real thing that night. Totally not my style to jump in bed with just anyone anyway, but he sure did almost win me over. Well, now thanks to the wonderful power of myspace once again, I have a good suspicion that I'm just another attempt at his own personal collection of booty calls.
what's even more bothersome is the fact that although I don't necessarily think that I could manage anything more than a booty call right now, I still cant help but feel heartbroken.

Re-organize This!!!

I just learned of some rather disturbing news from work. It seems that there's a bit of "re-organization" going on. In other words layoffs. What's happening to our nation? Today most large companies are out-sourcing to countries outside of the US. Even my very own company has decided that having a large call center in a distant location answering our emergency calls, would be a cost effective solution.
When I call my cell phone company, I get to speak to Joe Smith from India. I called to order a CD from Time Life, and got Linda Smith from India. When I order my damn uniforms and kids clothes from the same retailer I have for years, The Childrens Place, The damn labels read 'made in Madagascar' or some other third world country. Now when I'm dying and in need of an ambulance, who knows who the hell I'll be calling.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fair market and helping these other countries develop into nations and becoming self sufficient. But not at the expense of every single one of us Americans. When we have our people standing in line at the unemployment lines with three kids in tow, forced to accept a minimum wage job because anything else is being out-sourced... I think we've gone too far.

Monday, June 26, 2006

3rd Times a Charm

I have these strict rules that I place down when it comes to dating. For some reason I'm very attracted to Hispanic men. Call me crazy but thanks to the Ex, I'm hooked for life. Next he must be a funny guy and have a damn good smile. Then throw in a bit of kinky and freaky... chi' ching I'm hooked.

However another major issue that I have is that I'd prefer not to date within my company. But seeing all of these tall and handsome guys in uniform ready and willing... damn how could I resist? I try very hard and have succeded thus far. I've only dated people who I knew for sure I wouldn't have to see daily if the deal went bad. Well needless to say both of the previous inter-office flings went bad and ended.

Now I'm attempting a third. I've met this guy on one of those dating sites a while back whom I thought was very attractive, also an EMT and a single parent. Well since I've moved into the dispatch dept at work, I've discovered that he too works for my company now. Except now he's a paramedic and guess who gets to give him orders and have fun at his expense? Yours truly... damn, did I tell you how much I love my job? well actually only one night a week. Funny as it may be, we lost contact a while back :P and ever since I've been on dispatch he's been flirting big time. However I've come to learn that many of the guys are just trying to earn brownie points to ensure I'll let them go home on time.

Well... this one has progressed a bit further. I have really good feeling about this one. I'm getting the butterflies and all. The late night calls, the erotic chat, it all has me hooked on him like hooked on phonics. I'm reluctant only because I wonder about the what if??? What if things did go wrong, could I still feel comfortable working with him? I think I could. I'm pretty good at separating my personal feelings from work, thanks to the good practice from Big(pile of)Dawg(shit).

Either way I think I'll give it a try, maybe third times a charm...

Friday, June 23, 2006

blah blah blah

Its 3am and and Im sitting here watching the letters spin while I make an attempt to decide what to write about. Do I complain some more about my love life or lack of?
Nah I think I'll spare my self the pity today. Today is friday, which just so happens to be payday. After the long work week I had last week this was a much anticipated check. Now... how shall I spend this extra bit of change this week? I think I'll finally get that tattoo I've wanted. Now if only I could decide on a design....

**I promise to keep you updated and will post pics as soon as I can!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Carpe Diem

My heart breaks more and more each day. Of opportunities not taken, Of not taking chances, not telling people how I really feel. I just dont know If I should even bother with relationships any more.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Just Say No

Why do I find it so hard to say no? When my co-worker and friend called me today and asked if I could come help out for a while, I wanted so hard to say no. I had the day planned out, I was gonna go work out for a bit, then swim a few laps and lay in the sun. I had the entire day planned out. Why cant I do it? Why is it so damn hard to say no?
On a bright side I got to see some other friends that decided to stop by, which also brought some much needed insight. I finally got to see what someone I've had my eye, or rather ears open for, lol. Which BTW was quite pleasant to the cornea's. I may not have learned my lesson when it comes to dating co-workers but atleast now I have the sense to screen them ;)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

My Friday has Finally Arrived

After the working the craziest week on record, I'm ready for some much neaded R & R. Today I opted to skip out on the morning nap after work and head straight for the pool with the girls. Now Im ready to crash...


Saturday, June 17, 2006

I wanna Fly Away

Another long week and I'm still not through. I still have tonight to spend in that lonely dispatch center. Well maybe I'll find someone strange enough to still be awake at 3am for some quality chatting.
I woke up the other day and realized, damn... Summers almost here and I haven't decided on my vacation plans yet. I'm drawn between taking the girls back to FL to see their dad again like last year, or maybe a cruise this time. Hmmm then again I could probably pull off both. Looking back to our trip to Orlando last summer, I remember doing the theme park thing and all which was great, except for the mixed emotions of feeling like an incomplete family. Its really hard to explain, but If I did decide to do the cruise thing, I'd like to try a Disney cruise that offers a nice day camp program for the kids, while the parents enjoy some time alone. Except what would I do alone? Grandma's always an option too If I could find someone to take care of Grandpa while were gone. But shit I've only got a few weeks to plan any of this.... All the damn overtime I've been getting for these 60+ hour work weeks will help motivate me to plan an escape.

Damn I think too much.... I spend way too much time in my head. Ok I'll shut up and stop thinking out loud now.

Bye for now!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Day off, What Day Off?

I was up all night last night working a double shift, ironically on my day off. But I enjoyed myself. I don't know why, but I get pleasure from making guys want me. Even If I don't necessarily want them. I love a good challenge, call me strange. The past week or so I've had a few guys bellowing at my feet. None of whom I gave in to. Maybe I'm holding out for the right guy. Who he is or what I'm looking for... I truly don't know. I'm sure that I'll know when the time is right.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

A Kick in the Ass

I was in the shower this morning kicking myself in the ass for not taking time to write in my blog the past few days. After being unable to think of a good enough excuse, I've come to the conclusion that I've just been too damn lazy.
Blogging is sorta my very own way of expressing myself. It's the special someone I wish I could lounge with on the couch and cuddle while watching a movie. Or sharing a drink and discussing our long day's.

...Sigh. I need a real someone!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

A Bird Pooped on Me

Ok Today I was supposed to get lucky. I walked the kids to school this morning and a bird pooped on me. Doesn't that mean that I was entitled to good luck today?

Tonight I went to a co-workers wedding and was hoping to get lucky, but didn't. GO figure. Nothing lucky about today. Instead I think I've had a change of heart. Since the Ex and I split two years ago, I really haven't opened my heart to anyone else. I guess I'm trying to prevent from hurting again. However after tonight, seeing the newlyweds in love makes me think about my own love life, or the lack there of. I really miss feeling that way about someone. I'm really lonely, and didn't even realize it until tonight.

Ok, ok.... I'm gonna start dating again. I promise!