Monday, December 31, 2007


Ever have a dream that stayed in your thoughts all day? Last night I had a rather awkward one that's caused some confusion on my part. It started out with me in an ER. I don't believe I was there initially as a patient, I believe I was there bringing one in, but soon there after I became one. I seemed a bit short of breath and was experiencing palpitations. The doctor convinced me to have an EKG performed which revealed I was in SVT with a heart rate of 233. Soon I was undressed and being prepped for a dose of adenosine. The drugs successfully reset my rate to a normal rhythm.

Afterwards I remember having to call home and being upset about having to tell Gabby that mommy wouldnt be coming home tonight, a ritual that time after time brought tears to my eyes. Distraught and upset I returned to my hospital bed. It was there that the most surprising thing of all happened. I was consoled by a good friend who's loved me all along, I was just too damn blind to see it. I knew him to be a good friend although I didn't see his face in the dream... only a mustard yellow colored wrinkled shirt that dried my tears. It felt so good to be in his arms, but who was it?

I've got an idea. I'll try-out hugs with every friend I have (like prince charming and his glass slipper in search for cinderella) until I find my true love.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

All or Nothing in '08

With 2008 creeping up on us, I decided to begin to think about my resolutions. In doing so I've come up with the theme of All or Nothing. I don't want someone who meets my emotional needs, and another who meets my sexual... I want it all or nothing. I want a partner not just a lover or a friend. If you cant meet the demands, then please refrain from applying.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Dear Santa

Thanks for all the wonderful memories I have of you as a child. As an adult now, I'm not asking for a beautiful doll or a super fast race car... Nothing that your elves would be able to make themselves. Instead I'd like you to gather the support of all your other magical friends and spread some joy this holiday season.

It's no secret that this has been the toughest year thus far for me. In an instant, everything I've done and all I've lived for made no difference as my life lay in the hands of strangers. Nonetheless I've made it through. I will never again take this life for granted. I will live, love and laugh often.

What I ask of you tonight is that you please send some of the same magic to the ones I love. Send the power to overcome their battles. For Nick, I wish for him happiness. After so many years of sacrifice, he deserves to be happy too... even if it means no more sharing beef w broccoli. For Smiley, I ask that you help him realize that some things are beyond our control. Help him learn to accept them and not let them overpower every decision he makes. Take chances, even if it means we may fall on our face. For 'Nena to realize that marriage is a union of two souls... yes including your bank accounts!
For GI JOE, I want the biggest bubble custom made to keep him safe in Iraq, being equipped with AIM and Myspace would be a much appreciated feature too. As a matter of fact, lets make that a double order, one for the Moore's too. Keep their families safe until Daddy returns!

I could go on and on with this list, but I know you have some work to do, so lets just agree to keep the lines of communication open between us, k?! Merry Christmas and have a safe trip spreading your love and joy to children around the world!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Random Babblings

Apparently I had nothing to fear at work. What's my punishment? I get to train a few new employees. I suppose I'm doing a good job then, huh?!

On a side note, Smileys ignoring my calls and I really couldn't care less. Nick's probably in Atlanta... at least I hope so. Even with the less than ideal situation at home, enduring Christmas without his kids would be devastating for him. I really hope he finds happiness, he deserves it for all he does.

Remember Beachboy? He made a special appearance at our companies Christmas party. It was great to see him again, but if what I read is true then there wont be anymore surprise run-ins. Guess we wont be doing standbys in New Rochelle again anytime soon.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Mental Heath Holiday

In life we make choices of our own choosing. The reasoning for these choices is usually something simple or maybe instinct. We do it because somewhere along the line we thought it was the better option. Apparently my decision making skills are now too being questioned.

After barely surviving through the night from hell and having my partner taken out with chest pains after dealing with a fraction of my daily drama, I left with the decision not to come back. I decided that after an 80 hr work-streak, I was well over due for a mental health holiday. After coming home and sending the kids off to school I check my emails and apparently some shit- heads don't agree with how I handled a few situations. The first was quite simple, an Nursing Home patient was being sent out to the ER with complaints of fever of 101.0. When we arrive, no signs of abnormal temp, no distress however has some neck pain. The patient was already receiving oxygen per her DR's orders at 2 liters. My quality control director now questions why I didn't increase her oxygen intake? Well quite simply, she wasn't in any apparent distress, no complaints of difficulty breathing and in her case as all other patients with COPD, by increasing her blood oxygen levels I'd be decreasing her co2 levels and thus interrupting her hypoxic drive possibly causing more harm than good. What the number one rule of EMS? Do No Harm! Excuse me for knowing more than my scope of practice expects me to. ...But I'll smile and nod my head.

The next incident was a bit more serious and complicated. A burn patient lay in the burn unit of a nearby hospital. With his outcome not looking so great, it was decided to hurry and send him to a neighboring hospital's cath lab for quick harboring of his organs for possible donation. Problem is... every minute counts. As requested I sent my closest paramedics whom later call to advise me that their ventilator wasn't functioning. Given the circumstances, my options were to either send another crew whom was standing by, not on a call, or let the patient die because of our failed equipment. Of course I sent the neighboring unit.

Remember this is my life we're talking about here, k. So what do you think happened next. Someone in the area that the crew should've been covering was having a massive heart attack and needed to get to a cath lab too. I did however have a backup plan and sent a crew that took a but longer than the Dr would've liked, but thankfully the patient made it.

Needless to say tomorrow with be an interesting day as I kiss ass and insist that I'll try to think more like the people telling me what to do, though they've never performed my job function in their life. But hey their my superiors and I need to respect their dumb asses.

If it weren't for Nick, my mental health day would've been a total waste. I know he may not believe it or see it in comparison with his own problems, but he really does help me more than he'll ever know.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


Sometimes it feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm never comfortable with the idea of watching helplessly as my loved ones endure their own battles. I try to, at the very least, lift some of their weight. The problem now though, is the heightened stress is beginning to take its toll on my own well being. I've been feeling some PVC's and other not so welcomed symptoms. How do I find the right balance before I'm forced to return to the cath lab?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Always Good

First off let me say, I'm feeling like shit. I seriously hope no one has to rely on me to save their life tonight. I'm too sore and extremely exhausted!

Your probably wondering how the party went. Was it the event of the year? Not exactly. Remember this is my life, so here's how it went... due to emergency repairs and a gas main break I had no hot water to bathe with and had to shave with hot water boiled from the stove. After more than two hours prepping and stumbling to my car in my stiletto heel's, I was finally ready to roll. Within an hour or so of my arrival I was already feeling pretty good and ready to party.

To make a long story short, I drank, I danced and drank some more. The party was really nothing more than a night out with the gang. Nothing magical of mention.

The after party with Nick however... was what made my night special. I finally got the story behind the drunk dialing incident and got to spend some well overdue time with him. Being with Nick and rockin' with Chris Brown and the Backstreet boys till dawn... C'mon who else could I do that with?! But seriously, I may not remember a whole lot about my evening, but I'll always remember the way I felt in his arms and the promises that were made.

... me, I'm always good! And after reminiscing, could go for a nice serving of beef w broccoli!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


Tonight I'll be attending the annual Christmas party at work. I dont really get to go out and do grown up things, so this is kinda a big deal to me. Got a new outfit and hair done... the whole nine yards. I wish I had someone to share it with though. Last year I took a date and felt obligated to stay with him all night. This year I wanted to enjoy myself with my co-workers and I all getting drunk and stupid so I decided to go solo. However I think it back fired on me. I really don't know many cool people that'll be coming. Smiley will be working, Ang is too! Will there be any cool people left?

I guess I'll have to wait and see!

Saturday, December 08, 2007


What is it about love that makes you act like a total dork?

I'll admit, I'm the biggest dork of em all. From spilled glasses of wine, to tripping on the dance floor. From awkward quiet moments to awesome high fives, I'm the reigning Queen of Dorkville. I'll even be the first to make fun.

Last night my partner and I stayed in the office hung Christmas lights around the office and watched movies. One the them being Good Luck Chuck . It was pretty hilarious to see a character much like myself and being able to laugh about it. Good Luck Chuck fed my need for a romantic tale and his need for a comedy. Then I began to wonder, why cant I have that too?!

In Good Luck Chuck, Charlie is viewed as a good luck charm. The guy who gets all the girls but can never honestly say he'd fallen in love with them. One girl however changed all of that. He suddenly finds himself an honorary member of the dorks in love tribe. I wont kill the movie for you, but I will say... I'm totally feeling my dork meter raising!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Key to What?!

K, I'm cheating today. I know I owe you a real post, but this poll just has me sooo pissed:

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

WTF?! I totally disagree with this crap! I am not afraid of marriage. True I do want a lasting relationship, but cheating. Me? Are you serious, FOAD blogthings post crapper!

You mean to tell me, by answering 10 multiple choice questions about animals you can determine all that about me?! Hmm... nice try.

K, now I kinda feel like an ass. After proof reading and sitting here with my cursor on submit... I realize that this damn thing may be partially right. I did tell someone just the other day that my ideal relationship would be a live-in-boyfriend kinda thing. That I was screwed with marriage before and wouldn't jump into it too fast again. But I'm still strongly against the cheating part. I'm good at resisting desire and lust, just ask all the guys I send to voicemail!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


Wow can you believe it, I've posted 200 blogs to date?!

Why'd I start? I accidentally came across NYCWD's blog one day. I must say I was rather surprised to read that he actually had a personality. The guy I saw sitting across from me everyday, screaming at me for doing things the less favored way, actually had a soft side. The more I read, the more I liked. Then I began to wonder... Would I better cope with the stresses of the day if I began to blog?

Blogging was fairly new to me. I've written in personal journals before and after the 3rd or 4th entry lost interest in it, but for some reason this blog has stayed strong for nearly two years now. I've had alot happen to me in that time. Had it not been for my blog... I'd probably be in the "G" building with padded walls.

So a special thanks to NYCWD for inspiring me to bitch about everyone and everything that pisses me off, so I can remain the peaceful redhead who nods and smiles at the world then later throws them into my word bank. Special thanks to the few people who have for whatever reason actually find my blog entertaining. It's like finding your sister's diary, isn't it?!
And finally a special thanks to blogger for keeping my shit up here for the world to read and keeping me interested in more than just my usual 3 or 4 entries.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Drunk Dialing

It's 6:45 am and I'm suddenly awoken by my ringing cell phone. I was reluctant to answer, besides not recognizing the telephone number I told myself that if the person on the other end really knew me, they'd know I should be sleeping. So... I let it go to voicemail.

10 minutes later the annoying dinger alerts me to let me know I have a new message. Here's how it went:

Nick: Hey Lisa its Nick. Whats up?
Guy #1: No Answer?
Nick: I'm returning your call. Yo, I'm here at my boys house and uh, we're inviting you over to like chill and stuff. It's uhh (speech slurring)
Guy #1: (in background shouting) 6:45.
Nick: Yeah it's 6:45. Call me when you get this message ok? So we can uhh chill and hang out at my boys house, k?

...Here's when it really gets interesting:

Nick thinks he ended the call, little did he know... Its still recording.

(in the back)

Nick: Yo man this shits really getting to me.
Guy#2: Yeah ya think?!
Nick: What the F*ck did you put in my drink?
Guy#1: Yo anyone got one for Al?
Nick: Yo I'm gonna try my chick Lisa. I'm gonna try my chick. I'm tired of you being the F*cking super hero!
Guy#1: I can get in my car and go to the airport.
Nick: No I'm gonna try Lisa. Here call her back. (hands guy #1 phone)
Guy#1: Yo she's on the phone.
Nick: What? (takes phone back). Lisa, Lisa are you there? (to guy#1) She's not there.
Guy#1: She must've called back.
Nick: Call her I dont give a F*ck.

Uhh.. did he tell someone I was his chick?! Aww

Of course I never called back. Who knows what the hell was going through their heads. I really would've liked to have taken advantage of him and seen what he was offering. There's nothing better than hot sloppy drunken sex :P
I didn't though, I just wanted to know he made it home safe after all that.