I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Apparently the incident that I had last week with my mom, that led to me taking a drive late at night, and then getting a flat tire. Was supposed to happen. If it didn't, then I wouldn't have taken the car to the tire shop and have been seduced by Eddie the mechanic. I'm actually pretty happy I did too. My relationship with Ray has been a bit well... slow. Three dates and It took a special trip with an ambulance at 2am to get a kiss out of him. Eddie on the other hand was trying to get one out of me after maybe 3 minutes. With Eddie being so close to the home, its been very easy to pop in for a quick hello and to receive the managers special.
Initially I was struggling with the decision of whether or not to involve myself with two relationships at once. However thanks to the advice from the Nick, I've justified my actions. See neither of the guys are actually looking for a long term relationship. Eddie's too busy running three businesses and is afraid of a commitment after coming out of a marriage for 9 years. While Ray is still recovering from a traumatic incident in his past. My relationship with Eddie seems to be headed towards that of friends with benefits. I really like Ray, and even if he's afraid to give me his heart, I'm willing to give mine. If and when we do decide take the relationship to the next level, I will with out a doubt cut off the benefits with Eddie.
God just thinking about this whole mess I'm caught up in makes me feel sick. I just don't feel right about this, even though the Nick says its ok since both guys have made their intentions clear from the start. So why does it feel so strange?
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