Beware: I've been thinking alot again lately. First my annual evaluation at work went quite well. With the timing & Bipolar being fired, I honestly was quite concerned but apparently had no reason to be. I'm a pretty straight forward person. If you have a problem with me, tell me. I'll fix it! Anyway, I'm told I keep a low profile. Apparently so low that the damn president and half the managers don't know my name?! Do I give a shit? Of course not. Keeping a low profile probably isn't a bad idea in that place. But if you ask me to reach out more frequently to them, then I'll do it. The one thing I found most useful however during my meeting was a comment Jeff made about my reply to the "where do you see yourself in 5 yrs" question. I gave him the politically correct "furthering my education to advance my opportunities" answer that any boss would expect to hear, his reply however is what has me thinking.
Jeff suggested that I reconsider my wishes and make sure I'm doing it because I really want it for me, not for any other reason. Is he for real? He's seriously asking me to think some more?!
Ask me now where I want to be in 5 yrs and... I'll tell you otherwise. I want to be as far away from NYC as possible. I want a family again, someone to wake up next to in the morning. Walk to the other end of our Victorian style home to cook Sunday morning breakfast. The kids must've smelled the bacon cooking as they stumble in and offer a hand in the kitchen... So and and so forth.
More than a career, more than furthering my education, more than anything else... I want love and the lifestyle back again. I'll need to sit down and consider just how to make this happen. Unfortunately its not as simple to shop for a companion as it is to apply to a school dropping an application and $25 fee in the mail.
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