You'd be amazed just how your opinion of someone changes when your pissed at them. This week is the week that the corporate mongers at Hallmark try to pressure us into telling that special someone in our lives just how much they mean to us. Now I know I'm probably sounding like a hypocrite and shit by saying that I hate the holiday, but deep down under my manly uniform is a woman with a very soft heart. I do lots of those little things needed to keep a healthy relationship that remind your loved ones their thought of often. All I asked for, we'll more like secretly hoped for, was for that special someone to show it back.
Now I should be pissed, I should be heart broken, I should be making some lives miserable. Instead I'll feed your heads with some drama.
First, after finally giving Smiley his separation papers we ironically had to work together again. When I was in love with the dude and tried everything I could to be alone together I'd watch for vacancies and sign up to be his partner. I'd cook him dinner and do just about anything to let him know just how I felt for him on a daily basis, until I got tired of not getting the same effort in return. Now that things are over though he's starting to do weird things. I swear he's got borderline personality disorder. Until our big fight earlier in the week I was considering giving him another chance, but when I saw he once again misused my trust, I had no choice but turn away for good.
But shit... this is my f*cking life were talking about remember?!. Nothing goes simple. We were stuck working together for Valentines day and the eve before. I could see the hurt in his eyes as he tried apologizing and justifying his actions. I didn't want to hear it. Unless It had anything to do with work, I didn't wanna be bothered with it anymore. So... I signal to the dispatcher that we're ready for our first assignment and with nothing holding he asked me to standby in the area. After the longest and quietest10 minutes in my life I asked him to drive to dunkin so I could get some coffee. Once again, in case you haven't realized it by now... My life's full of drama. Sure enough as soon as we turn the corner we were flagged down by a few pedestrians for what appeared to be an MVA. On the opposite end of the street were a small mazda with white smoke (FYI: white's usually safe) and an older gentleman inside with positive airbag deployment.
To make a long story short, the man was on his way home after having a few drinks with friends. He wrapped his car around a utility pole but somehow escaped harm. What he couldn't escape however were the cute cops they kept sending to assist me that ultimately hauled him off and charged him with a DWI. In the 45 minutes it took for PD to arrive though Smiley and I began sharing our familiar jokes. Before I knew it I was back under his spell again.
Smiley however wasn't the man I hoped to see on Valentines day. It was actually (shit I just realized the irony in the name) Nick. I knew he was back in town. I made several calls all week long to his cell phone and none were answered. I know he's going through alot of shit right now and I should really be the last thing he needs to worry about, but would it hurt to drop a line or something before leaving for another 2 weeks? I miss sitting and talking, laughing and well just being me. Sure all that other stuff is fun too, but more than anything else I miss having a reason to hurry home in the morning.
Finally, after sitting here bitching about all the men that managed to piss me off this week I realized I have so many more male friends that I'd being doing an injustice If I said all men suck. So... I just decided it would be best to stay away from the those evil depressing mongers at Hallmark and shop for my own self-love gift at walmart :P
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