Saturday, July 15, 2006

Where's That Pint of Rocky Road I had Stashed?

I cant help but feel like such an ass right now. Why does it hurt so bad? I find myself doing something today that I haven't in a very long time, crying. See my Ray of Sunshine, has a few clouds that he neglected to share with me. I find myself here in the middle of his storm, hating myself for allowing this to happen again. See this same mutual friend that hooked me up, just casually mentioned that his family trip to Boston this weekend was also an attempt to rekindle things with his ex. WTF? He never told me about any drama while I was busy falling face first again. And WTF did Angie feel it was ok to hook us up knowing this shit?

Now here I am balling my eyes out once again, hating myself for being so naive to believe what a guy tells me. For not holding back and falling face first into the pile of shit layed in front of me. I cant help but wonder, where the hell did I go wrong to deserve this shit? Why cant people just be honest, and stop messing with my emotions. Is this what living life is really supposed to be about?

I'm contemplating going back through my blog and deleting all of the thoughts that I've had of any guys since I began this therapy session. Maybe that'll be a good place to start. Fucking wipe the slate clean and forget about all these assholes that have each taken away a bit of me emotionally.

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